Want to build the proverbial "better mousetrap?" Odds are extremely high that somewhere down the laborious R&D path one is going to have to examine the mousetraps of old. Where do most aspiring U.S. inventors and innovators eventually do some studying? Why, the United States Patent and Trademark Office, of course. It would be rather embarrassing to find out after-the-fact via a cease and desist order (at the very least) that one's revolutionary improvement to the widget of the future has already been created, registered, and is legally protected, right? But this outcome looks farther down the road than the intent of this post. Back to the lab now, shall we?

My assistant, Vito, has an NDA form for you. This is just a standard formality, really. NO- we needn't trouble your lawyer to review the three pages of micro-fine print. Yes, once signed and witnessed you will be legally bound for 50 (fifty) years not to disclose any proprietal information about anything you may become privy to. Off to the changing room and lockers. Vito will issue you a property reciept for any valuables retained following your strip search. The cavity check is free of charge (Vito loves that part!). Lovely. Now, the finger printing, DNA sample, retinal scan... You look smashing in that clean suit! Please put on these safety goggles and follow me into the next chamber...

For your safety please stay on the rubber mats, and for heaven's sake don't make any sudden moves! (sweeping gesture upwards toward the armed goon squad stationed on the overhead catwalks)

Sorry, but most of my original projects currently under development have already been locked away for the night. That on the table? Oh, it's my vacuum cleaner, an Acme Dirt Demon 200. They don't build 'em like this baby anymore, trust me. Last time I checked, the only way to get replacement parts was to salvage them from other identical models. I looked everywhere online and couldn't find a single one, not even on eBray. I popped the case right before you arrived. Seems the belt is shot and none of the other replacement parts manufacturers carry anything remotely similar in size, material, or durometer. I'm not about to let these trivialities keep my trusty Dirt Demon out of active service. I think this elastic band from last night's fresh broccoli will do the trick...

It's alive!!!

*~*~*cacophony of automatic weapons fire*~*~*

Vito: "OH MY GOD! fugi's been shot!!! Seal the building, stat! Engage lockdown mode now!!! I want the head of the person responsible!"

Thrown from the catwalk, a pair of fugicorp issued security coveralls lands next to our hero's body. From above a voice is heard:

"Sorry, man. I used to work in a high-security division of Acme. My NDA with them included a 007 clause."